HUGE STUFF GOING ON!
I just found a blog that I am going to share with you guys. It is http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
This is a story of a Christian family who like all of us have been going through the storm and are coming out. They let you see their struggles, their praises and and the miraculous works that our Lord does.
It is a Kleenex grabber, so if you don't have the time to read it because you don't want to show up to work with mascara smudged cheeks, wait and read it when you have some quiet time. For me it was a time of devotion. God has been working in a HUGE way in our family and I needed to see God for what He truly is. His compassion. His love. His ultimate knowing of what we don't understand. His ability to handle what we throw at Him.
I have never thought of God as a person, nor as someone who would cower if I got mad at Him. Nor have I ever considered that I was allowed to question Him. Our miscarriage made me mad. So mad. I hit every emotion I think there is. I didn't nudge them either, I fell into them hard. I guess I was always taught to FEAR God. While I do fear God, I now understand that it isn't the fear of being reprimanded or punished for being me. The person He created. He created me with feelings, the same ones He has. He created me as a woman, an emotional wreck sometimes, but with the ability to love more than I can bear sometimes. When a woman has a life inside of them nothing at all can possibly bring more excitement.(of course there are always those exceptions, but no matter who it is, it is an amazing time) When you find out that it's gone, this life, this person, you are in total devastation. I even felt humiliation?!?!?! I don't know why that one, but I did. I'm telling ya, I feel a little loopy sometimes. Well, I was upset with God, but at the same time knowing that He had a bigger plan and we didn't know about what he knew. I still don't know why I wasn't supposed to have that child, I still hurt a little bit because so many of my friends (three to be exact) were all pregnant all within a week of mine. Let me just enter my "ARGH" here. That stabs deep. I don't know if we'll get pregnant again, I am so afraid of that and so is Rusty. It scares us to go through all of the excitement again and then to be so let down. And no, God did not let us down, but when something that you really wants doesn't happen, it is truly disheartening!
Anyway, after a lot of prayers from friends, family and some people I don't even know about, I am so much better. I can praise God for that pregnancy, for that time of excitement, for that short time of planning.
All of that was not something I planned on writing, but I felt that it was necessary in order for you to understand this next part of what I am about to share. It is a testimony. A true example of God's great work!
This has all happened in the last few days. For a few months we have been looking for a larger home. Let's just say that in Los Angeles rent houses are EXPENSIVE! Not kind of expensive either, but like I could pay off a house in the town I am from in a couple of years expensive. Most of the three bedrooms we looked at in good parts of town were well over $2500 a month. Well, I felt I was supposed to expect the house we were going to get would be through some one we knew. I requested prayer in our Thursday night bible study for a three bedroom house that would be affordable for us. I think of Friday or Saturday night I had a dream that our realty agency that we go through for our current house was going to be putting up a For Rent sign and we would be given thirty days. I told Rusty that we really needed to start looking for a house because we would need to leave soon. He didn't question me, but we were however confused as to why I felt that we were going to be asked to leave. I never heard those words spoken in my dreams, that is just what I assumed when I woke up.
Well, Sunday after church I napped, Rusty and the girls were watching a movie and my phone rang. Mallorie answered and it was my friend Celeste telling her she had to talk to me, it was very important. I figured it was about school or her daughter. No, the house across the street from them was still empty and the owner was there doing some odds and ends and just checking on the house. She and her hubby I guess ran over and asked if it had been rented yet and told him about us and asked if he would wait around and meet us. He said yes. She called me. I had couch imprints on my cheek and Mallorie was running around half naked. It took us a little bit to get around and get over there, we didn't want to show up looking like backwood rednecks without hairbrushes. When we did, we looked around, I already had the house set up in my mind, the house is great. Three bedrooms, only one bath, but we can handle it. The backyard was cute, a patio, lots of flower garden area, a plum tree or two, and avocado tree. There is a wood burning stove in the living room and while most of you will think that I am crazy to be happy about this because it's so old fashioned, let me tell you, I am stoked! My home is NOT modern at all, except for Rusty's pretty TV an playstation toy. In fact I think you could call my house "Old Lady Chic". I like the look personally, if you don't, then well it's just not for you.
Okay, back to the story; When we got around to the nitty gritty of discussing the rent he wanted $2400. Ummm, no. Never gonna happen. Rusty lowballed it and gave him a number almost equal to what we pay at this current home, which by the way is still a whole lot of money, but not $2400 a lot. I gave Rusty a dirty look. Anyway, he said no. Duh. Then we told him what we could do and he didn't really like it, but he said well, fill out an application for me and he would talk to his sister who is also in on renting out this home that belonged to their mother before she passed. Mind you this was Sunday, he called Rusty on Monday and quoted him a price that was more than we were willing to pay. But seein' as how Rusty has a way with people and not taking no for an answer he asked him about the utilities and if he was going to pay for any of them. He said no. Rusty said why not. He said, well, they're still in my mother's name, so I suppose we could leave them like that for a year and I can just pick up all your utilities. HUH? Yeah, we can do that. That knocks out a little less than $200 dollars off our monthly bills. So to us that's the same as lowering the rent. Needless to say we took the deal. SO WOOHOO we got us a new house. Oh and I almost forgot this other amazing part. While we were pregnant with this last child we saved and saved and saved so that we could buy new baby furniture(cause let's face it, it's been 6 years since having Mally, all that baby stuff is long gone) and hopefully find a new house and have the deposit and first months rent. The deposit he wanted was steep, but I wasn't going to argue and have him say, "well, I'm sick of you people trying to make me lower the price on this house I grew up in, I'll find someone else. Now be gone." So we had the EXACT amount of money in our bank account, with enough left over to buy groceries while Rusty was in Japan. We were sweatin' that a little too because we leave for a preplanned vacation in less than three weeks. Gas, is, well, let's just all say WHOLLY COW together. Anyway, I think Rusty was starting to regret getting the house because we had saved and worked hard to put that money aside. He wanted new some new furniture we found recently, but I had said no and that I felt we should wait until we found something that we loved not liked. That was his money and now it would all be gone. ALL of it! Well, yesterday Toyota gave us the figures for his yearly bonus. We figured it would be small because of the economy and falling sales, but it was great. Now the sweet government takes about half and we got some of it at Christmas, but it's enough for the first month's rent and a little left over for our vacation.
Oh My Goodness. God has always provided, He always does, He always will. We've never gone hungry, but this was above and beyond anything that has ever happened to us. This was us stepping out on faith even more than moving to California because with that move we figured we would not be here very long and we were living in lala land. This is the highest rent we have ever paid. But, it's gonna happen. We will NOT want for the money. We might have some scares, that happens to everyone, but we will be able to afford this house and I know this because He put us here. Rusty kept asking God to close the door for this house if we were not supposed to move there and God just kept opening it more! PS....this owner is giving us the key Friday when we meet up with him to give him the money for the deposit (the same day we are recieving the check for Rusty's bonus). We aren't paying rent yet because we aren't moving in yet. Who gives people a key when we haven't even paid the rent yet?!?! And to end the story, we gave our thirty days notice to our current realtors yesterday, which brings us back to the reason for my dream. We weren't getting kicked out, we were leaving because God had a house for us to move into!
Let me just tell you this lesson I have learned in this. I have gotten past the part of learning to hand over my hurts and worries to the Lord and I feel this was just another lesson. That money we had saved and put way was not really our money. When we handed our lives over to God and decided that we would put our trust in Him and do His work, that included our finances, our shoes, our clothes, our TV, our food, and well you get the picture. It's ALL His! And when I have felt for the past couple of years that we were throwing our money down the drain paying so much money for rent, I had a peace come over me yesterday when the Holy Spirit said to my heart that the money hasn't been thrown a way. It's my Father's money and it is giving us a home to live in. A home in Torrance, 6 miles from the ocean. In a metropolis with an unending possibility to reach unsaved people. Brothers and Sisters in Christ that we can forge relationships with and work together with to touch lives. WHY OH WHY has this been so hard for me to get??? Well, now that I know, I feel such peace and so blessed. When I'm whining in few months because I want to move back to Tejas or some other Southern state please remind me that God WILL tell us when He's ready for us to go, not the other way around.
Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for trusting God and helping us to do the same. Come and visit us when you can, but call first so I can dress the kids, brush our hair, and rub the couch marks off my face!
It's no MANSION, but compared to our current house it's fantastic!
Oh and what is this, well my goodness, it's a driveway, with an electric garage door! WOOHOO, don't have one of these a the current resident.
Sliding back door with a retractable awning. yeah
A plum tree in the back yard. Mallorie is salivating in wait for those suckers to get ripe.
Lastly, there is a huge Magnolia tree in the front yard. For the last year I have been obsessed with magnolia trees. Every house we looked at, seriously anyway, had a magnolia tree. Hmmm, thank you God for giving me a little piece of the south in this new house. Now I won't miss it sooo much.